Friendors are, most importantly, your friends

Hands down the coolest wedding cake I've ever seen. www.geekologie.com

I would like to take this opportunity to talk about my amazing friend Kelly. She is married to one of my fiance's best friends, and is a super lady. She is the one throwing my bridal shower, she is a nurse, a new mom, and a fabulous baker. So fabulous, in fact, that I asked her to make our wedding cake. And because she's an awesome friend, she said yes. 

Until yesterday. 

Unfortunately, since she has a full time job other than baking, she has to squeeze all of her baking into her free time (which she doesn't have much of). She is hosting some friends the week of our wedding, and will not have time to bake our cake anymore. She was, of course, super apologetic, and even offered to help pay for the cake from another baker, but it won't be one of Kelly's cakes.

Now, had my caterer, photographer, or other pro vendor dropped me 6 months out from my big day, it would have been an ordeal to say the least. But Kelly is my bud, my pal, my friend, and that is more important than her being a friendor. 

Plus, now we get to do cake testings with several different bakers! Yummy!

Dealing with the non-traditional: part II

Whenever I say that we're not having a very traditional wedding, I get looks like this:

www.fox.com

(I chose this pic b/c no other look says "what a dummy" quite as well...and I love House)

We are choosing not to have a religious ceremony (cue looks from future in laws as well as coworkers).

We are having a very short, small wedding, with a small-ish guest list (cue look from FMIL).

We are registering for a honeymoon instead of random house things (cue looks from almost everyone).

I'm so sick of the looks! 

Here's how I've decided to approach the whole thing from now on: It's a backyard BBQ, just at another house. We wanted to do a BBQ in our back yard initially, then decided it probably wasn't practical, so we decided to book an outside venue. No one ever complains when their friends/family have a back yard party, so I've decided maybe we should just approach it as described. 

What we want:

Laid-back atmosphere

Only our closest friends and family

Not religious

Some gifts, but not obligated

Good food

Yard games

Everyone to have a great time, INCLUDING US!

What we're currently being pushed toward:

Formal: "You're invitation wording is WHAT?!?" (I'll put my invite DIY in a post within the next few weeks).

Pressure to invite every relative/babysitter/friend of parent imaginable (Ummm....our wedding?).

A religious ceremony (I actually had a coworker tell me that my wedding wouldn't be recognized by God, nor should it be recognized by anyone else if we didn't have a minister officiate). 

Honeymoon registry what? You may as well just ask for cash (sigh).

Good food-no one can take that away from us!

Yard games, though the guests we've talked about this with seem skeptical, they think it could be a good time.

No one will have a good time, because it seems we're offending people left and right. I don't want to spend my wedding day worried about other people, which is why I'm working my tail off NOW so everything can be as guest-friendly as possible. 

Now, I'm a very assertive person (which is important in my job). I don't let people push me around, and the fact that I have been letting the above look get to me to the point where I've considered actually CHANGING some things that are so important to me and my fiance on our wedding day is NOT acceptable. So here is my stance from this point forward:

Yes, we are getting married. Yes, it will be laid back. Yes, we will have a good time. If you want to mess with any of those things, accept it as it is or don't come to the wedding. 

Seriously, if people can't be supportive of you on your big day, do you really want them there?

Has anyone else had trouble with outside opinions when planning their wedding?

officially officiating and dealing with the non-traditional: part 1

When we started discussing getting married, future hubs and I agreed on almost everything, from season to colors to venue. Then we started getting into the nitty gritty, and things didn't run quite so smoothly. You see, part of the appeal of the B&B weekend for me is that we can have our "rehearsal dinner", our ceremony, and our reception all in the same place.

But that word ceremony troubled future hubs.
FH: "What do you mean, ceremony"
Me: "Uh...actually getting married?"
FH: "I thought we could go to the courthouse for that"
Me: "Wait, what?"
FH: "I don't want to make our friends sit through a long thing, that's just painful"
Cue me slamming my head into a wall (not literally, but still).

OK, time to get to the bottom of this. After about five minutes I re-approached him.
Me: "OK,  so you don't want any ceremony, or just no long ceremony?"
FH: "I'd prefer no ceremony"
Me: "Umm.....why? We can make it short."
FH: "We're not religious people. Why would we need a religious ceremony?"

This:

www.bestweddingdecorations.com

Vs. This:

www.orchardhillbedandbreakfast.com

(actually our venue!)

OOOOHHHH. Well that explained everything. He'd only been to religious ceremonies (mostly Catholic). That type of ceremony is very much "not us". Not that we have anything against religious people and their ceremonies, that's just not what we choose to believe or practice. Neither one of us have been to church in at least a few years, and we don't have any pastor/minister/reverend that we're familiar with even on friendly terms.  Poor future hubs had no idea it is not unheard of to have a friend, or a justice of the peace come and do a civil ceremony for non-religious people. Future hubs simply had not been educated.

Fast forward a few days, and we returned to the same topic. We discussed having our friend's father (who is a judge) perform the ceremony, but decided that would be almost as impersonal as having a pastor we've never met. That left us with this option: Online ordination for a friend/family member of our choosing.

We thought about our friend Brian, who knew FH long before I came into the picture, and was one of the only people supportive of the "online meet up". He and his wife Kelly are our closest friends, and he would have plenty to tell in terms of stories for the ceremony. One problem: he has a paralyzing fear of public speaking.

Our next choice (which we probably should have thought of sooner), was my brother. Although he's younger than me, he's very protective. Though he's always liked my man, he is always cautious when it comes to me and boys. He was literally the only one opposed to me moving in with FH, but warmed up to the idea when I explained all the precautions I was taking to ensure I wouldn't get left out on my butt. Future hubs winning his vote (it only took two and a half years), was probably a larger milestone for me than anything else in our relationship up to that point. Oh, and brother o' mine? He was a public media major in college, which means he can speak, and speak well. We asked him, and he said "sure, just tell me what to do". Awesome!

We'll discuss the ceremony in greater length later, but people have been asking how we made the decision to have my brother officiate. There ya go.

Is anyone else having a loved one officiate instead of a pastor?

Pounds for Pounds

Yes, the title of this post would definitely make more sense if I lived in a country where pounds was the unit of currency, but I don't, so just pretend.

I used to be very fit. I played almost all of the sports growing up, and even through my first couple of years in college I maintained a healthy weight. Then nursing school started. You know how health care providers are often times the most unhealthy people? True thing. When you only get thirty minutes for lunch, and the food in the  cafeteria is primarily fried, it is too easy to find yourself packing on the pounds. In the last 3 years I've put on about 20 pounds. Not horrible, but I've gone up two dress sizes, which is no bueno. Also, the bulk of my added weight is straight in my middle (can we say increased risk for heart disease and diabetes, anyone?). Basically, I need to get my butt into gear and start taking care of myself. 

Unfortunately, I haven't had any luck finding any good motivators for myself. I tried buying all of the expensive healthy food, but I didn't like it. I joined a gym, but it's too far from home, and I'm not motivated to go in after I have worked a twelve hour shift. Hmm...what is a good motivator for  a shopper? Money. Oh yeah. 

I'm doing a pounds for pounds approach. Each day I work out, I get $5 to spend on clothes for my honeymoon. Last week I worked out three days (aka: $15). Want to see what I got?

www.oldnavy.com

That's right! Mickey and Minnie Mouse on vacation! AWESOME!! It will look too cute with some white shorts. I'm pretty darn excited.

I know that it seems extreme to have to bribe myself to exercise, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

This is How We Rock (and Roll)

Tonight future hubs and I conquered a major task on his to-do list: Our Playlist.
In an effort to save money, we've decided to forgo having a DJ. Our venue (once again, proving their awesomeness) has a sound system included with the rental of the property. Also, since FH is a computer guy, we decided it would be something we could definitely handle ourselves. Together tonight, we made a list of 94 songs we'd like to play during our fiesta. Keep in mind our ceremony starts at 5pm, and we can have people/dancing until midnight, so we need about seven hours of tunes. Want to hear/see some of my personal favs?

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros- Home
Copyright Rough Trade Records UK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHEOF_rcND8

Regina Spektor-Us
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fczPlmz-Vug

Also on the list are:
Mozella-Can't Stop
Ben Folds-Luckiest
The Spencer Davis Group-Gimme some lovin'

Now, we've divided the songs into several categories in order to make day-of more do-able.
The Categories:
Pre-ceremony
Ceremony
Cocktail Hour
Dinner
Dancing

Each Category will have its own playlist, as will each designated dance (such as first dance and father-daughter).

Did anyone else choose to do their own music? How did it go?

Bye-Bye White!

Our venue (as we've previously discussed) is fabulous. So fabulous, in fact, that they include a tent rental/tables/chairs/linens/tent lights ALL included in the venue cost. Awesome, right? Right. The only drawback?  It's all white. Yeah. All white. Now, how am I going to brighten up the tent without spending a bundle? Let me show you!

First: Table Runners.
We're having long tables to serve our guests during dinner. My mom and I were in Hobby Lobby shopping for things on my Mega DIY Checklist, and came across these fabrics. Too cute! Plus, they were 30% off, which means I could squeeze them into our budget.

personal photo (ignore the toilet paper, the kittens brought it in for me to see)

Second: Placemats

Also going on the plain white table will be place mats. They'll be all blue, and will be easy, because they're really just scrapbook paper!

Third: Centerpieces

Although my first centerpiece plan fell apart, I still have some other options. For example, look at these babies! My grandmother has TONS of mason jars, and we could paint them ourselves for virtually nil:

www.bridalbuzz.blogspot.com

Fourth: Candy Bar! 

Since we're having a candy bar for favors anyway, we figured we may as well have it set up in the shelter of the tent, where the elements won't melt our M&Ms. Plus, it's a great way to throw in extra color:

www.projectwedding.com

Fifth: Ceiling Decor! 

With all of the pretty colors from the eye level down, I think it's necessary to add a little pop to the top of the tent as well. Right now I'm trying to decide between these two ideas:

Mobiles-take more effort but would look great with the long tables

www.projectwedding.com

Or banners/bunting-definitely the less expensive option, as it's pretty much glue, tissue paper, and twine:

www.projectwedding.com

Yay bright colors! Any other ideas to turn our tent from drab to fab on a budget?

Let's Hear it for the Boy!

First off: I love Footloose. It's so good!
OK, now for the real post, which is about dressing my future husband for our big day.

When FH and I started brainstorming about ideas for the wedding, one word came up frequently: CASUAL. Now, casual is kind of a funny word, because it doesn't mean sloppy. It means comfortable. I had a friend's husband ask "so I can't wear my sweats?". This guy wears sweats whenever humanly possible. He loves them (he did wear a tux for his wedding, for the record). I told him no. No sweats, but you can wear Khakis! I'm absolutely OK with Khakis. In fact, I initially told FH that he and the boys could wear Khakis and polos (or a button down). Something like this:

www.groomgroove.com

Look at how comfy these guys are!

Then THIS happened:

www.splasposa.com

That's right. My dress. That I fell in love with and spent far too much money on. It officially increased the dressy factor of the wedding. When I was trying it on both mothers said "You know the boys can't wear polos when you wear that". Drats. OK. Back to the drawing board for the boys!

Still wanting to be casual, we considered a linen or Khaki suit. Something like this:

www.ahfashion.com

Future hubs took one look at this and said: "A Khaki suit? and when would I EVER wear that again?". Well, we live in the middle of the country. No where even CLOSE to an ocean or beach. The answer? Never. Poo.

Well, then we discussed more traditional suit options. Future hubs doesn't like suits. Words that have actually come out of his mouth: "it does nothing for my figure". That's right girls, even if they pretend they don't care what they look like, they do. Now, I can kind of understand his hesitation, because his current suits are pretty boxy. He's tall and thin, and it's impossible to buy off-the-rack for a tall man without it being large as well. 

Jimmy Hamelin Photography

Now, I have nothing against a boxy suit. I come from a family of broad bodies. My father and brother look great in a suit like the one above. My fiance, however, does not. He is slim (as in 6'3" and 190 pounds).

His suit needed to be something more like this:

www.christonium.com

Plus, slim fit suits make me think of Mad Men, and I love Mad Men. 

So, walking through Macys the other day (on the way to Bath and Body Works), we decided to take a stop at suits, and what should we find? This guy (well, not actually the GUY, but the suit):

www.macys.com

Slim Fit, looks great on the guy, and regularly $450, but they were having a sale, and we got it for $220. Yay!   

Unfortunately, future hubs tried it on with a black undershirt, so it doesn't do it justice, but you'd better believe there will be pics later of him in it. 

Did anyone else struggle with menswear?