Oh yeah, the ceremony

Ummm, something about our wedding has been on the back burner. What could it be? We've picked out food, the photographer, the music, the venue, and we're working on the honeymoon.

OH YEAH, the ceremony.

Now, we're really bright people, I promise. However, when we think of our wedding, we don't really want it to focus on the ceremony, but more on having everyone together and having a good time. In fact, future husband didn't even want a ceremony, as I'd stated before. So, we're going to do something short, sweet, and totally "us".

Instead of reading a passage from the Bible, we'll be reading part of this ADORABLE children's book:

www.borders.com

As I mentioned before, my super cool brother will be officiating our ceremony. We'll be writing our own vows. I will not be walking to the wedding march. We will not be lighting a unity candle or having a sand ceremony. Our wedding ceremony is to serve one purpose: to tell others of our love and officially become married. 

Up to this point, I had been blank on aisle decor ideas. Then I remembered this beaut:

www.loveandlavender.com

Balloons!!!!!

So easy, so simple, so pretty. Perfect. We'll only have 5 rows of people max, so it will a short sweet aisle to be sure. 

Now, our chairs are also like those in the above picture. I'll be honest, they're not my favorite. However, what makes dull chairs better? Let me show you!

www.weddingdecorations.21weddings.com

Ribbons!

More expensive, but adds an easy "pop" of color. I think I'll only do the back row of chairs like this, so people don't accidentally get caught in the flowing strands.

The shocking thing? Both of these ideas came to me in a Benadryl induced coma last night. Sigh. Crazy how your mind can work when it's not worried about other things. 

What am I forgetting? I'm sure there's something.

Having my cake and eating it too!

As I told you earlier, my wonderful friend Kelly is no longer able to make my cake. I was sad (because Kelly makes the BEST cakes), but understood. In fact, I think it may have been a good thing, because the second I told future hubs about the change in plans, he pulls out his wallet.

Me: "What are you doing?"
FH: "Well, Brian and I were at Judi's (a local bakery/cafe) yesterday, and I saw them preparing to deliver a wedding cake. The guy behind the counter saw me kind of gawking, and gave me his card. He's awesome, and so was that cake".
Cool!

Now, Judi's is delicious, but I've only ever gotten cookies there to go with my lunch (also routinely delicious). I'd never thought of them for the wedding cake before, but I'm all about that idea! So, on my day off Monday, I decided to go and visit Doug, the Marketing Director for Judi's. He told me some easy stats, and told me to send him a pic of the cake design we wanted for a more specific quote. Here's what I sent:

www.theknot.com

Too cute, right? Only we wanted some things changed...like: 

Only two tiers, no spacers, butter cream instead of fondant icing, and green and blue dots instead of orange and yellow. Oh, and I wanted them to put it on the cake stand I'm making, and put my homemade cake topper on top for me (I'm not demanding, just opinionated). 

My e-mail response came back the next day. They said not only could they do EVERYTHING I'd specified, but that they would charge only $130 for cake for about 55 people! WHOO!!! We'll be going for a cake testing within the next few weeks, but I am SO EXCITED. Talk about making lemonade, right?

Have any wedding downfalls become some of your biggest triumphs?

Gifting My Girls

I love my girls. In case I haven't told you (which I know I have). I'm so excited to have my sister as my Maid of Honor, and I'm so glad to have my old classmates (also known as my Lovely Llamas) to be my helpers on the day of. I want to show them my love through both my actions and some lovely things.

I'm very fortunate. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I hands down make the most money of all of my friends, and have the most stable lifestyle. My sister is a poor college kid. Together, none of my ladies have the luxury of buying themselves nice things terribly often. So, I want to give them something that they all want, but would never get themselves as a thank you gift.

Vera Bradley

Oh, how I love Vera. Her adorable prints make my heart skip a beat, and her love for pockets goes hand in hand with my love for keeping myself organized. Sigh. If you don't know anything about Vera, go to www.verabradley.com and take a look for yourself. Only problem? She's a little pricey. When I got finances under control after starting my job, my first gift to myself was a Vera Bradley bag, and I love it. here she is:

www.verabradley.com

I'll be getting different styles and prints for each girl according to her needs and her personality. Plus, they'll also be getting a necklace I'll be making (semi-DIY) that will look something like this:

www.michaels.com

Cool, huh?

The Funk

I have a confession to make: I am in a pre-wedding funk I didn't even think was possible. I'm a very type-A personality. I like to have all of my little ducks in a row. I love planning things. I loved planning my friends weddings. However, it feels like the second I hit the 6-months-to-wedding mark (and even a little before), I hit a road block.

interactivebrain.org

I've got all of the big things done, and I feel like it's too early to start on the smaller things...so I'm stuck. Future hubs is kind of enjoying the break, but it's got me more than a little concerned. If I can't motivate myself soon, I may find myself at the one month mark with a whole slew of DIY projects and TONS of stress.

I need to carry on.

My plan (which I REALLY hope works) is going to be to post about all of the fun things I WILL be doing, in order to keep myself motivated.

Has anyone else had the funk in wedding planning?

Friendors are, most importantly, your friends

Hands down the coolest wedding cake I've ever seen. www.geekologie.com

I would like to take this opportunity to talk about my amazing friend Kelly. She is married to one of my fiance's best friends, and is a super lady. She is the one throwing my bridal shower, she is a nurse, a new mom, and a fabulous baker. So fabulous, in fact, that I asked her to make our wedding cake. And because she's an awesome friend, she said yes. 

Until yesterday. 

Unfortunately, since she has a full time job other than baking, she has to squeeze all of her baking into her free time (which she doesn't have much of). She is hosting some friends the week of our wedding, and will not have time to bake our cake anymore. She was, of course, super apologetic, and even offered to help pay for the cake from another baker, but it won't be one of Kelly's cakes.

Now, had my caterer, photographer, or other pro vendor dropped me 6 months out from my big day, it would have been an ordeal to say the least. But Kelly is my bud, my pal, my friend, and that is more important than her being a friendor. 

Plus, now we get to do cake testings with several different bakers! Yummy!

Dealing with the non-traditional: part II

Whenever I say that we're not having a very traditional wedding, I get looks like this:

www.fox.com

(I chose this pic b/c no other look says "what a dummy" quite as well...and I love House)

We are choosing not to have a religious ceremony (cue looks from future in laws as well as coworkers).

We are having a very short, small wedding, with a small-ish guest list (cue look from FMIL).

We are registering for a honeymoon instead of random house things (cue looks from almost everyone).

I'm so sick of the looks! 

Here's how I've decided to approach the whole thing from now on: It's a backyard BBQ, just at another house. We wanted to do a BBQ in our back yard initially, then decided it probably wasn't practical, so we decided to book an outside venue. No one ever complains when their friends/family have a back yard party, so I've decided maybe we should just approach it as described. 

What we want:

Laid-back atmosphere

Only our closest friends and family

Not religious

Some gifts, but not obligated

Good food

Yard games

Everyone to have a great time, INCLUDING US!

What we're currently being pushed toward:

Formal: "You're invitation wording is WHAT?!?" (I'll put my invite DIY in a post within the next few weeks).

Pressure to invite every relative/babysitter/friend of parent imaginable (Ummm....our wedding?).

A religious ceremony (I actually had a coworker tell me that my wedding wouldn't be recognized by God, nor should it be recognized by anyone else if we didn't have a minister officiate). 

Honeymoon registry what? You may as well just ask for cash (sigh).

Good food-no one can take that away from us!

Yard games, though the guests we've talked about this with seem skeptical, they think it could be a good time.

No one will have a good time, because it seems we're offending people left and right. I don't want to spend my wedding day worried about other people, which is why I'm working my tail off NOW so everything can be as guest-friendly as possible. 

Now, I'm a very assertive person (which is important in my job). I don't let people push me around, and the fact that I have been letting the above look get to me to the point where I've considered actually CHANGING some things that are so important to me and my fiance on our wedding day is NOT acceptable. So here is my stance from this point forward:

Yes, we are getting married. Yes, it will be laid back. Yes, we will have a good time. If you want to mess with any of those things, accept it as it is or don't come to the wedding. 

Seriously, if people can't be supportive of you on your big day, do you really want them there?

Has anyone else had trouble with outside opinions when planning their wedding?

officially officiating and dealing with the non-traditional: part 1

When we started discussing getting married, future hubs and I agreed on almost everything, from season to colors to venue. Then we started getting into the nitty gritty, and things didn't run quite so smoothly. You see, part of the appeal of the B&B weekend for me is that we can have our "rehearsal dinner", our ceremony, and our reception all in the same place.

But that word ceremony troubled future hubs.
FH: "What do you mean, ceremony"
Me: "Uh...actually getting married?"
FH: "I thought we could go to the courthouse for that"
Me: "Wait, what?"
FH: "I don't want to make our friends sit through a long thing, that's just painful"
Cue me slamming my head into a wall (not literally, but still).

OK, time to get to the bottom of this. After about five minutes I re-approached him.
Me: "OK,  so you don't want any ceremony, or just no long ceremony?"
FH: "I'd prefer no ceremony"
Me: "Umm.....why? We can make it short."
FH: "We're not religious people. Why would we need a religious ceremony?"

This:

www.bestweddingdecorations.com

Vs. This:

www.orchardhillbedandbreakfast.com

(actually our venue!)

OOOOHHHH. Well that explained everything. He'd only been to religious ceremonies (mostly Catholic). That type of ceremony is very much "not us". Not that we have anything against religious people and their ceremonies, that's just not what we choose to believe or practice. Neither one of us have been to church in at least a few years, and we don't have any pastor/minister/reverend that we're familiar with even on friendly terms.  Poor future hubs had no idea it is not unheard of to have a friend, or a justice of the peace come and do a civil ceremony for non-religious people. Future hubs simply had not been educated.

Fast forward a few days, and we returned to the same topic. We discussed having our friend's father (who is a judge) perform the ceremony, but decided that would be almost as impersonal as having a pastor we've never met. That left us with this option: Online ordination for a friend/family member of our choosing.

We thought about our friend Brian, who knew FH long before I came into the picture, and was one of the only people supportive of the "online meet up". He and his wife Kelly are our closest friends, and he would have plenty to tell in terms of stories for the ceremony. One problem: he has a paralyzing fear of public speaking.

Our next choice (which we probably should have thought of sooner), was my brother. Although he's younger than me, he's very protective. Though he's always liked my man, he is always cautious when it comes to me and boys. He was literally the only one opposed to me moving in with FH, but warmed up to the idea when I explained all the precautions I was taking to ensure I wouldn't get left out on my butt. Future hubs winning his vote (it only took two and a half years), was probably a larger milestone for me than anything else in our relationship up to that point. Oh, and brother o' mine? He was a public media major in college, which means he can speak, and speak well. We asked him, and he said "sure, just tell me what to do". Awesome!

We'll discuss the ceremony in greater length later, but people have been asking how we made the decision to have my brother officiate. There ya go.

Is anyone else having a loved one officiate instead of a pastor?